Happy Tingson Day!
Choosing joy
August 14th marked three years of living in Australia.
And we did what we do every year: we celebrated Tingson Day! It isn’t a concept that is original to me; I borrowed the idea from a fellow missionary wife and thought it would be a fun way to remember our arrival in Australia.
This year, Garry and I grabbed lunch with Isla while the big kids were in school and talked over all the happenings of the last three years, good and hard. We reminisced, we shared our gratitudes and regrets, we laughed a lot. Then we picked the kids up from school and spent the rest of the day with them, going to some of our favorite local spots before walking along the pier.
We gave each kid a chance to talk about our move - what they remembered, what they liked, what their favorite part of living in Australia has been. We also gave them the chance to talk about the hard stuff - what they missed, what they were feeling, what ways living abroad is still hard.
I went to bed that night noticing a big difference between this Tingson Day and the previous Tingson Days. This one felt lighter and more joyous instead of heavy and full of sad memories. I felt it, and I could tell everyone else did, too.
Tingson Day was finally what I had been hoping it would be: a celebration.
In the past, we celebrated even though we didn’t feel celebratory.
Leaving the familiar, while it can be good and necessary, is its own form of loss - loss of comfort, loss of community, loss of stability. And with loss comes grief. Grief, in my experience, feels like a thick fog that clouds everything around you, distorts reality, and enhances feelings of isolation.
As much as we prayed for a new heart for our new home and for a sense of belonging in a culture that was very different from what we knew, nothing was instant. Loving something takes an understanding, understanding takes knowledge, and knowledge takes time.
And as author Isaac Adams reminds us, “It seems to please God more to change people slowly rather than change circumstances quickly.”
Our circumstances, while uncomfortable at times, were changing us as people, as Christians, as a family. We clung to the hope that this change was God-ordained and, since He was causing it, that He would work it out for our good.
So while we allowed God to do the work of slow transformation in our lives, I remembered running often to the Psalms. The psalms are a roadmap showing us what it looks like to run to God with our harder emotions and seeing how God worked in that person’s heart, oftentimes while still praying.
I used the psalms as an outline to celebrate joy even when I didn’t always feel it.
Psalm 57 was written by David and is sung in a cave while he was fleeing from King Saul and the Philistine army, all trying to kill David for different reasons.1
In this psalm, David consistently references God as being “above the heavens”2 where His perspective is different from David’s. God’s position brings to mind the job of a marksman, someone positioned high on the castle wall to guard it - always aware of what everyone’s positions are, never surprised by what’s coming from afar. And David consistently reminds himself of God’s position in relation to his in an effort to draw his focus away from his problems and instead fix his gaze on his Defender. Because if nothing is surprising to God, then we can trust that He will be there for us when we are in need.
As we read through the psalm, there is an obvious back-and-forth in David’s mind, represented with the ebb and flow within the psalm of feeling safe in God’s care to then feeling as if in a pit emotionally.
Faith, as shown in this passage, requires a wrestling between allowing our circumstances to swallow us whole and fixing our attention on God’s sovereignty over all things. Faith is fighting back against our natural inclination to despair and fear. Faith is feeling safe enough to sit at the banquet prepared for us knowing the enemy is still around.3 Faith is choosing joy.
David’s circumstances didn’t change in this psalm; he is still hiding in a cave. Yet he still praises God - first with a defiant faith, pushing back against the temptation to dwell on fear, then in a grateful hope for what God has done and is doing and will do.
David doesn’t wait for his circumstances to change before he praises God. And in the exultation of God’s glory, David finds strength and peace to continue. His steadfast confidence in God compels him to lift his praise despite nothing changing.
This is what Tingson Day has meant to us. It is a celebrating of what God has done for us, is doing for us, and will do for us in the future. Tingson Day beckons us to look back in gratitude and look forward in hope - a praise and confidence all wrapped into one day.
Tingson Day is our reminder to exercise our faith and choose joy.
I met a mom recently while at swim lessons with Isla. We struck up a conversation when her toddler noticed Isla’s shoes (light-up shoes, I’ve learned, bring everyone together).
In between chats about the aforementioned shoes, the mom spoke in Italian to her son. Being an expat myself, I began to ask questions about where she was from, how long she’d been in Australia, and what brought her here.
In just the same way I made note of the different cadences and emphases in her accented English, she did the same with mine. When she asked the same questions I had asked her, that was when it occurred to me: we had not only been in Australia nearly three years, but the anniversary of that day was coming soon. Like, in less than a week soon.
Later that day while talking to my husband about the conversation, I made note of the difference. In previous years, that date hung in the air, the memories that made up those days before The Launch feeling too heavy to revisit. But this year, we were so busy living our life in our home with our relationships and church that the day almost slipped right past us. We were beginning to feel at home. And because of the newfound security within our new home, those memories were actually sweet to replay - a new experience for us.
We were busy choosing joy. We didn’t do this perfectly - we had our fair share of wrestling to do - but we availed of His grace in keeping us in the middle of it all.
This Tingson Day, our family is filled with gratitude that, when the resolution didn’t come as quickly as we wanted, we were still being held by our good Father.
He holds us, He loves us, He works for our good and His glory. And I can bet He does the same for you, too.
“God hath not given people knowledge that they thereby should be a means to harm and to destroy, but to do good, and to save others; it is a most absurd thing for any to use their knowledge, therefore, to the destructions of others.”
Matthew Poole
the miscellany
All the random things from the last month
something we’re reading: I hit a reading slump so I’m still slowly working through Little Women and The Screwtape Letters, but I’ve also added Come and Welcome to Jesus Christ by John Bunyan (a 200+ page expository on one verse is a good sign there’s going to be some depth and richness there!)
something that helps: With the US election season upon us, I’ve found it hard to keep up with everything that’s been happening. While the US presidential election is still consequential here in Australia to a degree, it isn’t prominently reported on - at least not as much as we would need in order to stay informed. I’ve been trying to stick to news sources that lean unbiased, and so far I’ve been getting regular updates from Sharonsaysso on Instagram and her substack, The Preamble, as well as The Pourover’s Instagram account and newsletter (a news source with a Christian perspective). If you have any other suggestions for me to look into, I’d love to hear it!
something for the kids: I’m always on the hunt for crafts for our Sunday school lessons. I came across 10 Minutes of Quality Time recently and signed up for a subscription. There are tons of worksheets, crafts, and coloring pages - and heaps of them coincide with Bible stories! We’ve been using a craft from the site nearly every week in Sunday school - they’re easy to do, only require a few supplies, and are suitable for a wide age-range!
I won’t be listing every verse in Psalm 57 here in this newsletter for time’s sake, but I recommend taking time to read it for yourself. Maybe God will open your eyes to truths that I missed!
Psalm 57:5 - “Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens; let thy glory be above all the earth.”
Psalm 23:5 - “Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.”
Re JOY cing along with you .Three years is a true milestone.Thank you for including me.My prayer for you will continue earnestly.
This is wonderful. Thanks for your transparency and inspiration. 😀